When I first found out I was pregnant, I was hesitant to get excited. This was my third pregnancy in one year (suffering two previous miscarriages) and I was terrified that within a few weeks, I’d be saying goodbye yet again to another part of me I just couldn’t hold on to. 

In the coming weeks and months, I was incredibly sick - and not the morning sickness you see in the movies. I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) which caused all-day-long vomiting and required IV fluids as well as medication to manage. These symptoms made it incredibly hard to hide my new pregnancy from friends, family and coworkers, so we wound up breaking the news right before the end of my first trimester. My husband and I breathed a sigh of relief after sharing with our loved ones, and trusted that this pregnancy would finally be a success. Little did we know that MAK would make an early arrival and shock us all before we were even ready.

October 15, 2019. 16:30.

After teaching my high school students a Horton dance class from a yoga ball, I was ready for my 35 week appointment. At this point, my hands and ankles had been swollen for days and the yoga ball was about all of the energy I could muster. I arrived around 16:30, after my husband since I’d been rushing from school to get there on time. I scarfed down some cookies and water on the train since we planned on going to dinner later on and I just needed a little something to get by. 

I was relieved to walk in and see my husband waiting - he was determined to be at every appointment. We went back to check weight and blood pressure, same old same old. I anticipated this part and knew that: 1) my blood pressure was always teetering on being too high, and 2) my weight was increasing rapidly now that I was finally able to hold down meals. I never really knew if the latter was a good thing or not. By 35 weeks, I had put on 30 pounds and I felt every bit of it. On the first blood pressure check, the nurse remarked it was high and opted to try again - this wasn’t unusual so I thought nothing of it,

After the second time, I could tell something was off. She looked concerned and started to ask questions about dizziness, nausea and headache. I explained that I felt fine but just taught three dance classes and rushed to make the appointment and that may have revved me up a bit. No problem, she’d take it again. I took a deep centering breath to calm myself, focused on positive thoughts… no luck. 160/90. We were sent into a waiting room only to have the doctor enter looking concerned. She asked about my day, my week, had I noticed anything different or ‘off’ about my body? I had moments of ‘flashing lights’ yes - but that wasn’t too strange. I’ve had similar occurrences from standing up too quickly. But after putting it all together - swelling, sudden weight gain, ‘flashing lights’, high blood pressure - almost textbook preeclampsia.

Now, there’s lots of other symptoms to look for:

• Excess protein in your urine (proteinuria) or any other sign of kidney issues

• Severe headaches

• Changes in vision, including temporary loss of vision, blurred vision or light sensitivity 

• Upper abdominal pain, usually under the ribs on the right side

• Nausea or vomiting 

• Decreased urine output

• Decreased levels of platelets in your blood (thrombocytopenia)

• Impaired liver function 

• Shortness of breath cause by fluid in the lungs

Just to be on the safe side, Dr. B. wanted to check my blood pressure again herself. “Think happy thoughts”, she told me as she laid me down on the table, took the reading and promised to be back in just a few minutes. She came back to let me know that the numbers weren’t budging and now it was time for us to have a serious conversation. 

I was not ready to have this conversation. Vaginal or C-Section? A C-section was NEVER a part of my birth plan, but MAK was breech and with the preeclampsia it was looking pretty likely. I was scared, upset, frustrated and praying that my blood pressure would just return to normal. After discussing all of our options and getting yet another high reading, we were sent to hospital triage (“Do NOT go home - go straight to the hospital”). I needed to be monitored by another physician in the practice and have my urine checked for protein immediately. Ya’ll, I was checking ALL the boxes. Dr. N. came in and broke it down for me: she’d be delivering MAK today and asked when was the last time I had eaten. Remember those cookies on the train? Before my dinner date late tonight? Those counted. I would be heading to surgery at 22:00. I was SHOOK. 

I received this news just after I sent my husband out to get himself some food and a glass of wine. I was being monitored with the possibility of delivering, but I think we really thought we’d be heading home. When I called him and broke the news he took a breath and responded “Wow, we’re really having a baby today, huh? Do I have time to drink another glass of wine?” We were both incredibly nervous and trying to be strong for one another. His calm demeanor kept me level-headed. He was very matter-of-fact and reminded me that at least I was about to be done being pregnant and miserable. I guess he was right… 

By the time Dr. N. came back in, she broke it all down. My lovely little MAK was still breech, his head nuzzled under my right rib cage. I had hoped to have a non-medicated vaginal birth, but with everything going on that just wasn’t an option anymore. After having HG suck the life out of most of my pregnancy, I was very much looking forward to having control over something. But sometimes, God has other plans! I gave my husband a kiss as I was wheeled back into surgery. 

Once I got there, it all hit me and I began to cry. I was so overwhelmed - countless Doctors and Nurses introduced themselves to me and let me know how they’d be helping in today’s surgery but I couldn’t even take it all in. My husband couldn’t join until after I had my epidural, though I’m still not sure why (I’ve heard that some spouses faint, but I’ve yet to confirm). After it was complete, he joined me and sat by my side, though unable to hold my hand due to the involuntary shaking I experienced. Instead, I clenched the cold metal poles to either side of me and prepared myself. 

The Operating Room is stark white and very calm - nothing like my favorite Grey’s Anatomy episodes. The anesthesiologist was scrolling through his phone, chatting with my husband and updating me on how well I was doing. A nurse is picking up one bloody towel at a time and dropping them into a bucket. I can only assume based on my hospital show knowledge, that she is making sure nothing is left behind after all that’s being used during my operation. “I’m starting to feel light-headed”, mutters my husband. The anesthesiologist remarked not to worry and that the numbers were still great. All of a sudden, I heard someone near the baby station bark “go catch the father!”. His eyes went dark and he began to fall forward toward me, swiftly snatched up by the anesthesiologist. While he came to rather quickly, he was ushered out for some air and cranberry juice. 

As he’s leaving, Dr. N. delivers little MAK at 22:39 at 4 lbs, 12.5 oz. A little grayish looking embodiment of love. My husband re-entered just in time to hear his first cries and then nothing. He needed some help breathing and, just as quickly as I saw him lifted over the blue divider, he was whisked off to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). My husband was now up toward my head clutching my hand and giddy with excitement at his first-born, his son. We decided we didn’t want MAK to be alone, so my husband tagged along while I was stitched up and prepped for recovery. 

Recovery 

I met MAK - officially - on October 17 midday. Since his birth, I’d only seen photos and videos from my husband who’d gone back and forth between us while we both got the medical care we needed. I was recovering with the help of medication that got my blood pressure to stabilize. I’m still unsure why I was told to wait until my husband could accompany me to the NICU - but I did. After he went home to shower, eat and grab a few personal items, we made the slow march together to the NICU to see our precious boy. My heart was so full as I got to hold his little hand and speak as much love into him as I could muster. 

 Happy Birthday MAK!

-Love Mommy

Huge THANK YOU to the care MAK and I received while at Mount Sinai West!!